The yellow elephant in the room

When parental love turns into control

Abstract

This article analyzes the emotional violence and abusive control exercised by parents over their daughters, using the metaphor of the “yellow elephant in the room” to represent a visible but often neglected problem in the family environment. The elephant symbolizes excessive control disguised as “protection,” while the room represents the domestic space, where oppression is naturalized. The yellow color highlights the urgency of this issue. Rooted in historical patriarchy, as exemplified by the Civil Code of 1916, control manifests itself through constant surveillance, emotional blackmail, and restriction of female autonomy, configuring psychological violence, recognized by the Maria da Penha Law, but still underreported. Many victims reinterpret the abuse as “care,” perpetuating a cycle fueled by the “culture of silence” and Stockholm syndrome. With alarming data, such as 90% of young women being victims of psychological violence, especially among black women, the article reveals the intersectionality of the problem. It is proposed to review legislation, such as the inclusion of abusive behavior in the Penal Code, in addition to expanding awareness campaigns and strengthening reporting mechanisms. Recognizing the “yellow elephant” is essential to transforming oppressive family relationships into spaces of freedom.